The note was supposed to be what you think it would be due to the magnitude of this album…a death note.
A final bow, a goodbye. Maybe this is that or maybe it isn’t, but I do know I’m at my limit and truly exhausted with the world and its pain, torment, temptations, excessive emotions, and illogical actions. Loose Ends 5 is truly my final visit to that style of writing. Emotionally, it is draining because I have to place myself back in the most painful moments of my life and write how I feel. 1-3, I actually put a filter on myself, not allowing the whole story to come to existence. When 5 came around, I saw this as an opportunity to put a final spin on what Loose Ends was supposed to be.
LE5 was supposed to be unrelenting and a bit heartless, because that is how I feel. 2007 was when I felt true, legit emotion. 8 years ago was when I felt threatened by anyone. Since 2004, I have not had a reason to raise a hand against anyone, which is something I am proud of. It is not to avoid conflict, it is to show that I have not been tried in a physical way. Whether this is respect or just a blessed luxury, I sometimes question the lack of fight. Is my life easy? Do I have more that I see? Perhaps God realized that I was going to give up and decided to take the fight off my hands.
At this point, truly, I do not know. Life may or may not continue for this, but I do know that this album was the most exhausting of the five. Basically, I dug into emotions I felt over the years and almost sunk back into a world that I thought I fought myself out of. Maybe it was suppressed feelings finally coming out, so it got a bit personal. LE5 is a true release of myself as an artist, inspired by what was done to me, what I did to myself, and what I am now doing for myself. Happiness comes from within, and through God, I am happy with myself and the man that I am becoming each day. Each day, I improve. True enough, I deal with the situations of the world, but at the end of the day, I have to answer to God for Carlos, not the world.
Until next time,