Normally, here is my thought: There’s God, the world, its people, an empty space, and finally there is me.
The Dilemma
For years, I have always been an outcast to the crowd; a bridled intellect only called upon when that intellect was required. I felt that people needed to be damn near 30 to get my sense of humor as people who were my age had the WTF look on their face. As I began to age, I began trying to find ways to undo all the stress and the issues.
I typically walk around places alone, hands in my pockets observing others in their conversations, desiring to be a part of them somewhat, but not knowing how to be. I became the quiet guy who knew everyone, but no one knew me.
What I Became
The guy who is a recluse…..
Always everywhere and nowhere at the same time….
One who can be counted on to be anywhere, but no one ever sees me
I’m always in the middle of everything, yet I’m at the edge of the circle.
It’s who I became….who I am….
The downside is that it is part of my life I cannot shake. It hounds my existence to this very day, though it is a product of my past. As I continue to grow, this cloud looms over me.