There’s a lot of things I do that I can cite to be bad habits. Just forgive a man for his mistakes and keep going.
I’m sorry for the times I could’ve wrote a hit
I rhymed and I wrote like I didn’t give a shit
I say it with ease and contemplate my words
And people spread gossip like, “You know what I heard?”
I heard that Los trying to rap and spit verses
Even heard some of this shit he said with curses
So I kept holding back and wrote what I thought
That people wanted to hear, not what I was taught
So with this one here, I put it to the side
My story of life is too bright to hide
So take a seat and listen how I break my bad habit
And quit thinking of ways to make ‘habit’ rhyme
And instead tell a story about how I had it all
And then lost it, not because of my grind
Because I put my trust in the things I knew for certain
Would fall so short that I couldn’t behind the curtain
I remember a time where I actually put the pin down…so stupid, so dumb. Well, I’ll never put the pen and pad down.
I almost quit writing because I thought in my mind
My past was buried beneath me and left behind
I don’t write my past, writing is my release
It’s the only way that I get the voices to cease
I promise to keep working and never drop my pin
I don’t need a reason to write or go in
My lyrics are me and it’s how I truly speak
Hopefully the day will come when my words finally reach
Their intended target, and they finally understand
That in this road of life, I do what I can
To set my road straight, clean up all missteps
Even the misstep I took to kill myself
I got past that thought, I broke that demon
So when you see me, don’t look at me like some heathen
Because I publicly hang myself, I don’t need a noose
Or someone to talk for me, I can tell my truth
I used to deny my anger, put it as someone else….that was dumb too. My anger is simply mine.
I can’t deny my anger, it gets tired of the circle
I’m tired of punching walls until my fist turn purple
I kept studying and thought the same moves
Would find my hands and mind in the same groove
Instead of playing my game, I let it play me
And hoped some miracle would simply save me
I realize now that you can’t save stupid
I have to change it all if I want to change myself
What’s good for me may not be good for someone else
But I know what I want and that’s to return
To the person I was before this world burned
This the last time I take this beat to the heart
Perhaps what is now together should soon be apart.