It has been a long time since I’ve written a very personal post. This one comes to mind as I’m nearing the final stretch of my minor years. It’s been a great run, 20 years, 11 months, 28 days, 11 hours, and 5 minutes. (God, it feels so good to be a nerd and narrow it down to the precise point of birth..) Anyway, I’m evolving this post behind my current Facebook status, which reflects my state of mind and emotion. “A prime example of optimism and confidence.”
I feel like I can go through a day…say something off the wall, whether it’s funny to someone else or not, I’m enjoying my life and my day. It really doesn’t matter if I seem complicated, crazy, over the edge, or just plain silly.
The confidence part states that I’m….me…and I love it, from the fact that I will usually say the first funny thing (to me) that comes to mind to the fact that I will BOLDLY sit in front of a computer at least half of a day, everyday, because it’s who I am.
Well, there’s a lot that boils down from this. A lot of people know that there were many points in this year where I had gave it up, lost all focus and motivation.
There are two choices in life when faced with emotion: control or let it consume. Allowing yourself to be overwhelmed with emotion is too easy and it blocks the logical and spiritual mindset. So for two whole months, I admit to have been in my own crazy, little, emotion-filled world. Honestly, I just said fuck it.
I didn’t make a complete 360 of my life because I actually HAVE to finish school and make that paper to meet ends, but emotionally was a big change. It was a final acceptance of life and its hardships. Acceptance of the people involved in my life, and the reasons behind said involvement.