It’s all a thought process. Today was kinda same ol’ and kinda new. Weird, but I feel a little better than I felt last week at this time. I don’t know.
Ok, the jist of this weekend: I WENT TO A FUCKING PARTY.
Here’s how it happened. Go to Wal-Mart, come back, phone rings. “Los, you comin?!” “Yea, I’ll be there in a few.” Print out map to spot on Mapquest.com, and get there with no problems or complications, except a funny sound under the hood that I’m getting checked out tomorrow. Aside from that, fun, fun and more fun. These are just a few of the shots taken, click em to enlarge. It was a fun thing, one of the few times I actually went out. A lot of fun, and a lot of new people that I met. Awesome Saturday Night.
Now the downside (if there is one)
I have a lot of things that are constantly on my mind. As I assume a lot of roles in my life it makes me think of a lot of shit. As a child of God, I wonder if I really putting my best foot forward with HIM? As a son, I wonder if the way I live my life in a way that reflects their morals and ideals that were supposedly instilled into my being? As a student, are the sleepless nights, dedication, and times to stay motivated actually enough for my success? As a man, am I being typical or establishing my own character? As a Vice-President of I.M.A.G.E. (Increasing Minority Access to Graduate Education), do I really portray said image (no pun)? As an older cousin and brother, do I really set the example worth following to an extent? As a friend, am I being a convenience or inconvenience to the people that I say are the ones I would not trade for anything in the world?
I really am confused on a few things. One of them is me busting my ass trying to live my life. I heard a person once say that if you have to question your effort, there is more that can be done. The things is I don’t see what else can be done. It’s the same smashmouth mentality I had for the past 3 years, 2 of those 3 years was learning the mentality. This year is the applying of that mentality. To find yourself slipping back into the same habits means you haven’t done shit. So I guess that is why I disappear at times, to re-evaluate what I have done and see if it comply in what I say. In the words of John Cena, “There are those who talk about it, and there are those who be about it.” It’s a quote I try to live by, to be about who I am and what I do.
Well this is what makes my mind go left, right, and all around at times.