15 Things I Learned from WWE RAW 9/9/13

I learned…

  1. Tony Chimmel is Edge’s personal announcer everywhere he goes.
  2. Randy, after your failed drug tests, please do not mention the world ‘fail.’
  3. From Evolution to New Corporation, Orton traded the IC belt and a suit for a t-shirt, underwear and a WWE Title…but he’s still Hunter’s lackey.
  4. So, wait…after the match was over…why couldn’t Big Show touch the Shield again? Ok, fine. He could’ve carried Daniel to the back…knocked Orton out, knocked Triple H out, knocked Stephanie out, the plot hole is so huge you can drive a semi through it.
  5. When Triple H says that a person can’t make it, they become a multi-time WWE champ.
  6. Believe in the BEARD!
  7. So, y’all tried to convince me that a guy who hasn’t wrestled a show in forever is going to beat the WWE champ? Please, booking is crazy, but that was never going to sell as a story.
  8. We…The People…love Santino….and The Cobra!
  9. The Attitude Era stars own the PG rating.
  10. Christian didn’t look beaten, he just looked intoxicated and his friends (The Shield) just had to drag him home.
  11. CM Punk is the cure for all legs.
  12. Damien Sandow will be the first person to cash in and officially get pinned.
  13. Ryback and RVD…..winner keeps the ring attire closet.
  14. Sorry, King, you had a lot of salt when AJ turned ya down. Should’ve kept focusing on the match there, buddy.
  15. Sorry, ADR, the fans didn’t chant for you at all. 2-3 years and no reaction.