15 Things I Learned from WWE RAW 9/2/13

I learned…

  1. Randy Orton does not get the fact that cars and WWE don’t mix.
  2. B+ player just happens to be a better overall wrestler than you.
  3. Summer Rae is the closest Fandango can get to getting laid…each week….
  4. Normally one aims for the face when slapping. Summer Rae aims for 6 inches above the head.
  5. That segment didn’t come from Booker T’s heart. This promo did.
  6. Ryback is using his new, “The Big Guy” walk. Apparently, he didn’t take lessons from Vince.
  7. Ryback should end his victories, promos, etc with “One more, for the big guy.”
  8. Slater…I know some Greeks that’ll get pissed.
  9. So, an Iron Clad contract is really made of putty.
  10. Triple H has the walrus on a leash.
  11. Triple H isn’t getting me any wedding gifts…ever!
  12. AJ better not drop that title to any of those chicks after that promo. Wait this is WWE. Wait for it.
  13. RVD needs the new JCVD haircut.
  14. Iron Clad means do whatever…not what Triple H wants.
  15. So, wait, he performed in the match…lost by DQ..but he didn’t perform his duties?! WWE come on, after match isn’t a duty.

Bonus: Triple H…not the first time Stephanie protected you.