15 Things I Learned from WWE RAW – 7/21/14

  1. Randy Orton is like, “If my best friend had my back, then I’d be champion. Daddy, put me in another match.”
  2. Triple H owns everyone who says they’re gonna stop watching WWE if it doesn’t happen.
  3. Arrive. Superman Punch. Get booked in a match.
  4. Orton gonna tell Daddy on you, Kane.
  5. In 2 minutes, there were almost 6 botches in that 4v1 Diva match.
  6. Stephanie learned bladder control.
  7. Miz, my pin dropped and I heard it during your entrance.
  8. Stephanie is going to learn that ‘orange’ is the new black.
  9. My client, Brock Lesnar, in his return match, got beat by John Cena.
  10. Dean Ambrose is the guy who you do or don’t want to take to the club.
  11. If you want to use cuffs, make it legit…or hell, even use the fake ones.
  12. If my significant other got arrested and I wasn’t in the car behind it, then I wouldn’t be significant.
  13. Ziggler wins matches, while Miz checks his moneymaker…or B-List moneymaker.
  14. Brock, bicep curls, my friend. They are fundamental.
  15. Dean, be careful dude, there are budget cuts with those chairs.

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