15 Things I Learned from RAW 5/27/13

  1. John Cena’s new kryptonite: ambulance.
  2. The Great Khali + Microphone  DOES NOT = good TV. Keep this in mind.
  3. Curtis Axel’s victory last week was so irrelevant that for half of this week’s countout, he was off the screen.
  4. If you’re a Paul Heyman Guy, you walk like him. Watch this video. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FuqWX7Ky-lU
  5. Booking mentality: If one member of the Shield wins, they all win.
  6. Curtis Axel is the new Wade Barrett. He’s gonna have a new theme every week.
  7. I’M THE BEST IN THE WORLD. NO, ME. NO, ME. *goes back and sits on couch in Chicago*
  8. So, CM Punk’s one lengthy reign takes precedence on Jericho beating Rock and Austin in the same night, 1st Undisputed Champion, record time IC Champ, and 6x World Champion? God, the relevance.
  9. Not knocking CM Punk, but note the reign AND the amount of times he closed out a show. Don’t worry, I’ll wait.
  10. Ryback is the devil. He said so himself. Well, devil, you didn’t beat Cena.
  11. GOD SAVE THE ENTRANCE MUSIC. Between Axel’s newest mix and Wade Barrett, I need somebody to shoot the person who picks em.
  12. The Great White Vipers are now back together again! Superheroes UNITE!
  13. Curtis Axel – When in Doubt, Count Em Out.
  14. There is something about HBK’s beard that keeps telling me that there’s a Superkick in somebody’s future.
  15. FAAAANNNDAMN IT! They gonna give him the IC belt and he’s gonna dance with it.