10 Things I Learned from Impact Wrestling – 8/7/14

  1. If I already know how a show will end, what is the point of watching?
  2. If I were everyone involved in that table match and knew how it would be promoted, I’d just put her through the table and say, “You’re gonna tell em how it ends anyway!”
  3. Watching Impact Wrestling is like watching the History channel…you already know the story AND the ending!
  4. Height doesn’t determine voice.
  5. Ethan didn’t watch the opening video. Dixie goes through the table.
  6. MVP didn’t go to the club last night, so no hoes for you.
  7. Mr. Anderson has been listening to Trust Issues by Drake.
  8. Let’s remember, Jersey Shore ended in 2012.
  9. Big Zeke is Rick Lawn…more like Rick Roll.
  10. Everyone had mannequin heads, so the audience knew of Al Snow’s return.

The show you knew about already. Yes, it happened.