The Authority

15 Things I Learned from WWE RAW – 6/22/15

15 Things I Learned from WWE RAW – 6/22/15

WWE RAW 6/22/15

The Band is Back Together

  1. So we’re going back to a few months ago when the champ can’t win alone.
  2. What happened to Brock absorbing the Undertaker’s powers?!
  3. Paul Heyman can make a tree sound menacing.
  4. It’s a shame when you have to convince people that the WWE Champion has a chance.
  5. There isn’t much reason to keep this Kingston vs Neville thing. Prime Time Neville?
  6. If Zack Ryder won, the king would be a court jester.
  7. The word, “suckbag,” isn’t even in kids’ vocabularies..because it sucks.
  8. #GiveDivasAChance – this needs to be said again because they didn’t get it the first 900000000 times!
  9. All valets, ring escorts, and guests…take notes from Paul Heyman.
  10. So, we’re seriously selling the fact that all it took was J&J Security, Kane and Seth Rollins to put down Lesnar? Let me spend the last 5 of this post that Lesnar survived.
  11. The same guy who got up from 3 Attitude Adjustments in a row.
  12. Survived the Triple H shovel.
  13. Suplexed John Cena > 20 times. Guy hasn’t had a WWE Title match since!
  14. NEVER LOST TO THE UNDERTAKER.
  15. BROKE THE STREAK….seriously got put down by 3 midgets and Kane?!

 

15 Things I Learned from WWE RAW – 5/25/15

15 Things I Learned from WWE RAW – 5/25/15

WWE RAW 5/25/15

Pimpin Ain’t Dead

  1. Wasn’t a guy suspended when he punched a cameraman?
  2. Stephanie gets what she needs accomplished on the mic. Everything else is fluff.
  3. Shoving the cameraman? Triple H would’ve just punched him from behind to cause that deception.
  4. Each part of the Rusev/Lana promo can be appended with the phrase, “Between the Sheets.”
  5. New boyfriend takes the girl, gets beat up, and still has the girl.
  6. A king should not lose in his court, unless your last name is Barrett.
  7. Well, after Ryder used the Killswitch, it’s safe to say that Christian is done.
  8. Tag team cluster match? Like cluster…you know the word.
  9. If you can’t beat em, join em.
  10. The city police got YouTube also.
  11. Seth’s finisher will be a Batista Bomb to complete his Evolution.
  12. Ambrose confirmed that this is a circus. Man had to get arrested to get a title shot.
  13. Entourage didn’t read the script. NO MENTION OF RONDA!
  14. So, Roman spears Ambrose at Elimination Chamber?
  15. There could’ve been 10000 Rough Ryders and Cena wasn’t losing tonight.

 

 

15 Things I Learned from WWE RAW – 4/20/15

15 Things I Learned from WWE RAW – 4/20/15

WWE RAW 4/20/15 – There is an RKO for Everyone

  1. There is an RKO for everyone.
  2. Seth, Triple H is losing faith. It’s just one guy.
  3. Kane wants more power.
  4. If I hear a Que barking off guard out of nowhere, it’d scare me too.
  5. Guardian of the Gate? This is not Destiny.
  6. More DQs and dirty finishes…Dusty Rhodes back booking?
  7. The monster is not dead….he just has on a suit.
  8. Authority swerve during the Pay Per View
  9. Cold steel? Of course. It’s from Russia.
  10. I bo-lieve that Big Show vs Roman Reigns will have Big Show cheered.
  11. Where dat Stunner?
  12. If Stone Cold isn’t hosting Tough Enough, it will NOT be tough!
  13. J&J security need to stand on shoulders to make eye contact with Kane.
  14. No Stephanie burying superstars?!
  15. New Day heel?

15 Things I Learned from WWE RAW – 2/23/15

15 Things I Learned from WWE RAW – 2/23/15

WWE RAW 2/23/15, aka Vipers Don’t Make Good Pets

  1. You can actually go half-naked to a professional summit.
  2. Being passed out and not tapping out equals giving up in Russia.
  3. Vipers don’t play nice.
  4. Nashville had Beyonce hidden in the arena somewhere.
  5. Knock Knock. Who’s there? Curtis Axel. Curtis Axel who? Exactly.
  6. Axel said don’t change the channel. I would’ve if WCW was on the air.
  7. The budget behind Sting’s videos was less than the amount if Sting actually showed up.
  8. The Ascension could not ascend to Million-dollar status.
  9. Bray is going after an old man who will have to dye his hair when he returns.
  10. Whose balls bigger? Russian monster or American Superman?
  11. Emma is still suffering from shoplifting syndrome.
  12. We end a wrestling show by looking at 3 non-wrestling mofos.
  13. #RKOOuttaNowhere
  14. Triple H knows that a viper cannot be controlled.
  15. Believe in the Yes Movement.

15 Things I Learned from WWE RAW – 1/5/15

15 Things I Learned from WWE RAW – 1/5/15

The Authority is back, and all is well on WWE RAW…for them.

  1. When in doubt, repeat last year story lines.
  2. John Cena Appreciation Night? I remember ‘The Rock Appreciation Night.’ It was funny.
  3. Frowning gives you lines….red ones.
  4. Dolph Ziggler told the creative team, “Eff you, I’m winning.”
  5. Roman Reigns really believes he’s Superman.
  6. The Ascension isn’t really ascending to anything.
  7. So, does Russia have Santa?
  8. Steel steps have been falling on people lately.
  9. We had budget for PYRO?!
  10. Kane has selective memory.
  11. Cesaro and Tyson are roseduds.
  12. Stephanie needs to take tips from Vince in that delivery.
  13. I wouldn’t want to be involved in the next Survivor Series.
  14. Stuff breaks when Ambrose is around.
  15. We had a video package, pyro, and John Cena not smiling the whole show. Someone HAD to be fired!