daniel bryan

15 Things I Learned from WWE RAW – 2/23/15

15 Things I Learned from WWE RAW – 2/23/15

WWE RAW 2/23/15, aka Vipers Don’t Make Good Pets

  1. You can actually go half-naked to a professional summit.
  2. Being passed out and not tapping out equals giving up in Russia.
  3. Vipers don’t play nice.
  4. Nashville had Beyonce hidden in the arena somewhere.
  5. Knock Knock. Who’s there? Curtis Axel. Curtis Axel who? Exactly.
  6. Axel said don’t change the channel. I would’ve if WCW was on the air.
  7. The budget behind Sting’s videos was less than the amount if Sting actually showed up.
  8. The Ascension could not ascend to Million-dollar status.
  9. Bray is going after an old man who will have to dye his hair when he returns.
  10. Whose balls bigger? Russian monster or American Superman?
  11. Emma is still suffering from shoplifting syndrome.
  12. We end a wrestling show by looking at 3 non-wrestling mofos.
  13. #RKOOuttaNowhere
  14. Triple H knows that a viper cannot be controlled.
  15. Believe in the Yes Movement.

15 Things I Learned from WWE FastLane

15 Things I Learned from WWE FastLane

WWE FastLane 2/22/15, aka Superman Returns

  1. Hide your nuts from Russians.
  2. All the divas from NXT were laughing at the atrocity that was Paige vs Nikki.
  3. Stardust found out that the cosmic key requires one person.
  4. When you’re a ref, do NOT hestittae when counting pinfalls.
  5. JBL has random knowledge in his head that he spits out. This is called, ‘Color Commentating’.
  6. Jon Stewart can cut a better promo than 50% of the WWE roster.
  7. Cesaro/Tyson Kidd….Swiss Kidd or the Cesaro Kidd?
  8. Sledgehammers get beat by baseball bats.
  9. Sting made money tonight by not saying a word.
  10. Bray Wyatt wants to become a deadman.
  11. Wade Barrett has a warrant in Memphis. That’s why he ran.
  12. #RKOOuttaNowhere
  13. Naomi in The Usos entrance makes it flaming hot.
  14. Who really thought they’d see this guy tonight?
  15. So, what was the purpose of removing Roman out of the event to just throw him back in it?

15 Things I Learned from WWE Smackdown – 2/5/15

15 Things I Learned from WWE Smackdown – 2/5/15

WWE Smackdown 2/5/15 – WWE RAW’s Repeat

  1. Lose Monday, lose Tuesday. Oops, meant Thursday.
  2. So, do J&J equal two people or one?
  3. Seth Rollins is a babysitter, not a boss.
  4. Ziggler is Little Big Ziggy and Ryback is The Big Guy.
  5. Speak of the Deadman and he shall appear.
  6. I thought that a casket match ends a feud.
  7. Crazy doesn’t care about what type of news you have.
  8. Someday, a rose will drop its dud.
  9. MizTV got Reign-ed on, but we still are not convinced.
  10. Why isn’t Rowan getting the victories?
  11. Ladies and gentlemen, my client doesn’t do taped TV.
  12. Either double duty, boring rivalry, or a handicap match. Daniel Bryan is more used than a used car.
  13. Fandango gets a match on Smackdown, while we don’t get the Swiss Kid tag team?!
  14. Sin Cara’s nudge is now over.
  15. Axel-Mania? Don’t be surprised if he misses even the preshow booking.

15 Things I Learned from WWE Smackdown – 1/15/15

15 Things I Learned from WWE Smackdown – 1/15/15

WWE Smackdown 1/15/15 aka Daniel Bryan’s Movement Resumes

  1. Paul Heyman can talk his way out of Hell.
  2. Back to the basics, Daniel Bryan pulling double duty.
  3. 100 bucks says Reigns eliminates the Big Show.
  4. Dean Ambrose is disruptive, period. Forget class.
  5. Naomi proves her abilities nightly, but doesn’t have a title?
  6. Royal Rumble entrant advertising is addicting.
  7. Paige is proving to be more competent than Tyson at ringside.
  8. Sin Cara, you gotta make more people smile. You’re so close to the IC title.
  9. All things come to pass, even the Authority…again.
  10. Paul Heyman better watch himself, he’ll talk his way into the Beast’s path.
  11. Brock Lesnar’s double RAW appearance was costly enough. NO WAY he’s going to be on Smackdown!
  12. Daniel Bryan out the Rumble would go back to the original plan: Roman Reigns winning.
  13. Where is a RKO when you need one?!
  14. J&J Security can be fired and the cash paid for their main event non-wrestling spots can be used to hire…well, anyone better.
  15. New night, new theme, new pyro, but no New Day?! Guess we weren’t so high on the dancing and singing.

15 Things I Learned from WWE RAW – 12/29/14

15 Things I Learned from WWE RAW – 12/29/14

WWE RAW 12/29/14 – Booking Cluster and Flat Finishes

  1. Roman Reigns will get the Batista treatment at the Royal Rumble, since he will eliminate Daniel Bryan.
  2. Connecticut’s offices must not be far away since the Authority was already at the arena.
  3. So, Seth got his mommy and daddy back. Get ready for excessive face time.
  4. If you’re going to tackle a guy, don’t hesitate.
  5. Lesnar, you suplexed Cena 598,837,409,385 times! Why you scared of one Attitude Adjustment.
  6. The new Demolition….errr, the Ascension. Why creative, why?!
  7. Sigh, we got Mizdow, but he got beat up. This is not what we wanted!
  8. Superman is back to his usual self, wanting to beat the bad guys and still not as creative as Batman.
  9. I’m not going to go in on this version of Ryback.
  10. Ok, I lied. This version of Ryback watched Austin’s promo on YouTube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M8z1h-C9Jlo
  11. Seth, Edge won more titles than the years you’ve been wrestling. Sit on that.
  12. Apparently, Survivor Series has no meaning.
  13. WWE 2015 will be WWE 2014.
  14. The last segment had SO MANY opportunities and blew all of them.
  15. Happy New Year, WWE. Thanks for bringing back something that we were tired of. Now we have to be more tired.