15 Things I Learned from WWE RAW – 3/16/15

WWE RAW 3/16/15 – Convince me, WWE!!!

  1. When the lights go out and there’s crows making noise, run.
  2. A viper and a scorpion make great pets.
  3. Raise your hand if you thought Randy Orton was really with the Authority.
  4. Noble’s secret weapon is that he’s truly as tall as the Big Show.
  5. All you have to do, Superman, is run down Russia. Hell, pull the damn flag down.
  6. Tag team titles are so insignificant, that the belts will go to El Torito and then they will be deactivated.
  7. I’m still not convinced, people. Brock Lesnar loses to Roman Reigns?!
  8. Brock Lesnar will activate defense mode and sit up from 3 spears.
  9. How do you make a giant dominant? You don’t. HE’S A FLIPPIN GIANT!!!
  10. I can. I will. I can. I will. What is this, the little spear engine who could?
  11. Ladies and gentlemen, give Heyman a different microphone because the WWE microphone melts from such greatness!
  12. Why are we talking about floaties when there’s the 2nd most important title in WWE in the ring?!
  13. So, this was Seth’s trap?! The ‘Oooh, piece of candy’ from Family Guy was better.
  14. Steel chairs are heavy. I’d perfer a kendo stick or bat.
  15. Next week, Sting ziplines from the raptors!!!